


Make or Break II

by threewalls



Category: KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: 2006, Abuse, Angst, Authority Figures, Awkward Sexual Situations, Bathroom Sex, Blow Jobs, Coercion, Community: hc_bingo, Dubious Consent, First Time, Hiatus, In Public, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-04
Updated: 2011-11-04
Packaged: 2017-10-25 16:37:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/272443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threewalls/pseuds/threewalls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jin is willing to do anything to go to LA. Anything. Management tell Kame to choose what that is.</p><p><cite>"Ok. What do you want, then?"</cite></p><p><cite>"Nothing. It's fine. It's not necessary. Of course, I'll support you..." Kame trails off. It's not helping. He doesn't know why it's not helping. He doesn't understand why Jin looks furious.</cite></p>
            </blockquote>





	Make or Break II

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Make or Break](https://archiveofourown.org/works/176078) by [threewalls](https://archiveofourown.org/users/threewalls/pseuds/threewalls). 



In the long moment of Jin looking down, Kame feels himself harden, hot humiliated blood confused about where it should be going. His penis likes that Jin is looking. It doesn't care that this is a jimusho bathroom, bright white tiles and disinfectant. That they're standing beside the urinal and Kame hasn't got to clean his hands yet.

"That's it?" Jin asks. He sounds weirdly relieved, and his expression when he looks up isn't-- Kame' s not sure what it is. He's just glad Jin's stopped looking down. "I said I'll do anything. And all you say is--?" Jin's tongue pushes out the swell of his cheek in time with the shake of his wrist, the same gesture Kame had used.

And then he just looks at Kame. Kame doesn't know what Jin's waiting for.

Jin makes the gesture again, starts giggling almost immediately. Kame joins him, a little too quick, a little too high, but willing to follow Jin's lead. He makes a mental note to practice more. The sound of their laughter echoes tinny off the tiles. It's three in the morning and Kame let Jin steal half his ramen at dinner.

"Yeah," Kame nods. "You figured me out. Bad joke, right?"

He wants Jin to keep laughing, to laugh it all off between them, but instead, Kame watches the smile blink off Jin's face. One second it's there, the next, nothing, and Jin's coffee brown eyes become flint.

"Ok. What do you want, then?"

"Nothing. It's fine. It's not necessary. Of course, I'll support you..." Kame trails off. It's not helping. He doesn't know why it's not helping. He doesn't understand why Jin looks furious.

"Jin?"

"Look, when you debuted with Pi, Takki gave the rest of us a talk. You do whatever it takes. You take the opportunities they give you." Jin's talking to a point behind Kame's shoulder, almost too fast for Kame to follow. "We were supposed to be proud of the sacrifices you were making and to stop giving you shit. This is the industry, right?"

Kame still doesn't understand. But that stops mattering the second Jin throws the first punch.

Five minutes later, Kame is on his side on the floor, knees bent, clutching his stomach, winded and aching. Jin's slumped to the floor beside him, tongue darting out to lick at the blood at the side of his mouth.

He hasn't fought with Jin like this for months, but Jin's temper has always been quick. He helps Kame sit up against him, which Kame thinks means they're done now, that they're ok, right up until Jin's arm slips from around Kame's shoulder, down inside Kame's open pants.

Kame pulls away, pitching forward, hands and knees. His head's still fuzzy, thudding from where he hit the floor. "Jin, no."

Jin grabs Kame's ankles, yanking him onto his stomach. Kame kicks, connecting with nothing, rolls onto his back so that he can at least see-- which is the worst tactical move he's made since freezing when his ring split Jin's lip open. Now he's on his back with Jin's hands sliding up his calves and Kame's penis pushing up out of his fly.

"You don't have to do this."

"Kamenashi, I will punch you in the balls if you don't lie still and take your BJ like a man."

Kame licks his lips. It doesn't help. His mouth is dry. He wants to curl in on himself, but Jin's holding his legs, fingers gripping his flesh through the fabric of his pants. That hurts, but it's a good hurt. He still feels winded, stomach tender. He thinks he'd feel sick, anyway. Kame can't stop staring at the soft, full curve of Jin's mouth.

"You want to leave," Kame hears himself say.

"It's only six months. We're busy all the time now. I just want to be able to write songs in English. Kame, plea--"

No. Just no. Kame interrupts, pushing up to his elbows, trying to look past his open fly and only at Jin's face. Jin looks furious and desperate, and beautiful, like always. He looks trapped.

"Ok."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Um." The pressure from Jin's hands lessens, but he doesn't let go. Jin doesn't look disgusted, or bored, or annoyed. It's that look he gets when he expects Kame to solve the problem in front of them. Kame wants to, wants to fix this for Jin. "You're going to have to tell me what to do."

"What?"

"Shouldn't you be standing up?" Jin asks, sounding too contemplative and a little bit whiny. "I want to be-- I want it to be good. I mean, you're not getting out of this saying it wasn't good, or I didn't do it right."

"How am I supposed to get up with you practically sitting on me?"

That gets Jin to let go in a hurry, but he shuffles up close as soon as Kame gets his feet underneath himself. Kame holds onto the sink behind him, trying to keep his legs steady as he feels Jin's hands sliding up and up. So much for running.

Kame thinks he must be dreaming, the room too bright, the rasp of his jeans too rough against his fingertips, except that whenever he'd imagined Jin kneeling in front of him, he hadn't been looking up through narrowed eyes, with dark blood welling up from his split lip.

But Kame isn't going to make Jin beg for this. He strokes himself hard again, his other hand on Jin's shoulder-- and then on the back of Jin's head.

Kame pushes, just a little, just enough for Jin to get the idea, just enough to hold Jin steady as his mouth opens up, wet and hot and shallow. Jin's terrible at this, actually, even though his only competition is Kame's right hand, and boys in his dreams. He's drooling, the spit dripping inside Kame's pants, chill whenever Jin breathes out through his nose. It feels fantastic.

Kame pushes more, wanting to be all in the warmth of Jin's mouth, slick tongue sliding against him. He blinks, and Jin's eyes are watering, glistening in the harsh bathroom lighting.

"You don't--" Kame starts.

Jin gurgles something incomprehensible, vibrations shivering up Kame's spine-- and it's Jin pushing himself forward, the obscene stretch of his lips and impossible tightness of his throat. That first swallow is perfect, what all the tension has been waiting for, all the shame, everything coiled in the tensed up muscles of Kame's thighs. He thrusts, just once, and Jin's coughing, throat flexing-- Jin's gagging. Kame can't stop quickly enough.

He can't stop at all.

A second later, Jin has come dripping from his face, in his hair, his head bowed as he vomits on Kame's shoes. The sweetcorn sits bright on the monochrome tiles. Kame looks, even though he doesn't have to. He watched Jin eat it at a place round the corner, where they usually go when they have to work late.

Kame sinks to the tiles. They're more solid than he feels.

Jin is staring at the floor. At the puddle.

Kame zips up his fly, a jerky movement that must draw Jin's eye.

"I'm sorry. That wasn't-- I'll--" Whatever else Jin means to say is swallowed by a sob.

Kame raises his arms that split second before he realises he's an idiot. Jin wants a shower, not-- Jin barrels into Kame's chest, shoulders shaking. He rubs his face into Kame's shirt, fingers gripping behind Kame's back. Kame curves his arms around Jin slowly, in case he pulls away. He doesn't.

"It's ok," Kame tells him, shuffling them so neither of them are in the puddle. "It's ok. I'll tell them I agree to more commitments in the autumn. That we-- came to an agreement."

"They think I don't understand the industry." Jin sniffs, loud and liquid. "They think I won't make sacrifices. They think I don't want it enough. Well, I do."

Kame thinks about Yamashita's blank expression whenever the cameras stopped rolling. About times when someone important had said something a little strange, a little off, something that might have been a carefully indirect proposition that never went anywhere because Kame knew a handful of terrible jokes and over-earnest replies. The first time Kame had run out of jokes with a sempai who had just bought him lunch. Afterwards, then, Kame had told himself it was worth it.

Jin's watery smile makes Kame feel like one of Jin's hot, sweaty hands is squeezing his heart.

"Do you like guys?" Jin asks.

Kame doesn't know what that has to do with anything right now, but there's no point in pretending it's a secret anymore.

"Yeah."

"That's better."

"Better?"

"Better than making me do that just to be a jerk."

Jin's face drops back against Kame's shirt. It's a mess. Everything's a mess. Kame's cold and sticky and tired, and Jin's leaving, but when Jin's arms wrap tighter around Kame's back, Kame tightens his arms around Jin.

"Don't-- you won't tell anyone I did that?"

"No," Kame says, and: "we should shower."

"In a minute, ok?"

"Ok."

**Author's Note:**

> You can also comment at [my DW](http://threewalls.dreamwidth.org/152468.html) or [my LJ](http://threewalls.livejournal.com/347493.html?format=light).


End file.
